Meeting Buddha on the Road
I don't think that responding to shit people say to me by posting my thoughts
to a blog is enough. I did it yesterday by an e-mail to daddy as a reply to his
reply to a link to a course he had sent me. He really believe that the course will
help me find a job, and I explain wjy I think that it won't.
So in his reply, he wrote me about how the only thing that has made him give up
is that he's found a job. In his opinion if I don't do as he suggests, I do nothing
to get out of the mess in which I am.
I know he does it because he cares about me, but I still deserve some self-esteem.
I am not worthless just like he want me to believe just because he is not satisfied
with my plans.
When I say that it is my own business, he tells me that he has rights as a parent.
Goddammit! I don't care to be that loser who is put in his place by his father.
Yesterday, I just wrote in my reply that what he says make me admire Ayn Rand.
I also mentioned the protagonist of Down and Out in Paris and London by George
Orwell, and others that got evicted in Les Miserables. It is clear that their
lives are theirs.
I also wrote in big red letters that if I live in a society that measure people
by their jobs or lack thereof, I better be recruited to fight a war. In a war
it would be clear that I'm a man.
I'm sure he wouldn't want me to mention a war that way.
He participated one back in 1973, and his memories from that war are bad.
He also went to Lebenon in 1982-3.
Without his tough love, I wouldn't have thought of mentioning any wars.
I don't want to be that loser who needs tough love.
So, I met Buddha on the road, and killed him.
Following is a link to my comment on a news item about 3 jobless friend
who have committed suicide in Rajasthan: