March 2023 Five Questions
- joneworlds@mailbox.org
1. If you were a potato chip (potato crisp,
croustille), what flavour would you be?
I would choose to be good ol' ammonia & dog shit
flavour chips. Because then no one's going to eat
me, and I'll survive. Unlike most chips. Bet you
can't each just one...
2. What's the most unusual way you've made a new
friend?
I remember Glen and I had the 4-runner up on
stands one day, for us to re-do the brake lines.
And our pizza delivery comes and I'm trying to dig
my wallet out of my pants pocket inside my
coveralls, for to pay the delivery guy, whose name
is Anil. And in my fumbling, I accidentally knock
the pizza out of his hands, and wouldn't you know
the box comes open and it lands face down in a
puddle of oil and brake fluid. So I'm down on the
floor trying to clean that up, and I go to stand
up, hit the frame with my back, and I guess
the 4-runner was not stable on those stands and
the front end falls off, onto Glen. Brake rotor
goes right through his skull. Killed instantly,
as they say.
And then I'm totally losing it, and Anil the pizza
guy stays right through that with me, and held
space and held me, and we've been friends since.
And now we go together to his trauma group, since
then. For if you thought my story's awful, you'd
never want to hear what all Anil had to watch them
do to his sister years ago.
And you know, Anil even helped me finish
that 4-runner. Together the took the truck down
the east side of Lake Chowdercatt the following
spring. Glen would have been glad, he'd have
wanted that. Although on the trip back, we
accidentally slid it off the road and down the
bank. And I never bothered to come back for it to
winch it out. So it's still there I guess. That
would've pissed Glen off, he never had much
patience with that kind of carelessness.
But anyways, the point is that was a weird, awful
way to make a new friend in Anil. But it's not
too often you'd find a friend who'll help you
clean your other friend's brains off a brake
rotor. You surely often won't.
3. Tell me of a film, miniseries, play, or book
wherein your sympathies for the protagonist
shifted to the antagonist. What caused the
sympathy shift?
I remember watching Return of the Living Dead. The
one with the zombie-turning gas from that old army
barrel, and those punk kids. And I guess I'm
rooting for the guys who opened the barrel,
because you know I got a soft spot in me for
bumbling numb-skulls like them guys. But then
there's that scene when the zombies eat the
police's brains, and then have the wherewithal to
use their radio in the car to call for backup.
Send more cops, send more brains. And then I'm
just like, way to go zombies! That's a big brain
move there. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
Big brain. Rock on, zombies.
4. I wish to improve my Gopher phlog. I could
justify the text, or add RSS functionality, or add
external links of interest. What are your
recommended resources for getting me beyond the
basics?
I like what you got. What I suggest, and I do
this, but I think you actually do too, is to take
out as many dates as possible. I think it's that
"garden" idea. I'll speak for myself, and you
take from it what you want: avoiding a
chronological order will keep my deal fresher to a
newcomer's eyes, if ever I stop adding stuff.
Like if something happens to me. I think about
that now, you know, and maybe you would too.
Maybe next week this gopherhole's all that's left
of me, because something'll smush MY brain this
time. Like an ogre. Or a zombie. Or a brake
rotor.
5. What's an entree you prepare so well at home
that you don't order it at a restaurant?
I never found a place that'll make a
peanut-butter-spaghetti-cucumber-mustard sandwich
as good as I do. Or that'll make one at all,
actually. Believe me, I tried. I asked Turk, and
he told me to get the fuck out of his store. So I
won't ever order that again. Because if Turk ever
were to cut me off, I'd never find a corn beef
sandwich as good as his, and then I don't know
what I'd do. I surely don't.