________ ________ ________
2019-08-05 / \/ \/ / \
/ __/ /_ _/
I've been too long between files. I'm / _/ / /
finding I just start files, take down a few \_______/_\___/____/\___/____/_
notes and then abandon them. But not today! / \/ \/ / \
Let me just try and flesh out a few of those / _/ /_ _/
and maybe just lay out my mindstream and see /- / _/ /
what comes of it. \________/\________/\___/____/
I'm in a kind of low-key, one-sided feud at the moment with a person
online. I purchased something from them, it never arrived. I say one-sided
because they're just leaving me on read and low-key because, if I be honest
with myself, nothing will come of it. They can ignore me forever and I have no
other avenue. It is what it is but it's the first time I've been burned in
this game though so I'm still gonna be salty about it.
Never trust a criminal.
A couple weeks back, Dani and I went for a wander out in the inner suburbs
for a change, I wanted to show her some supermarkets there (yes, suburban
supermarkets are interesting to an inner-city cat), stretch my legs and go
check out thrift stores a little.
We took the tram on the way back and along with us for most of the ride was
an addict deep in a nod, trying to maintain his balance on one of the seats.
It's not an uncommon sight on Melbourne public transport, Melbourne has a
pretty serious drug problem, though heroin addicts are far less prevalent
these days and meth users seem to be the most common.
Now I've been in a pretty weird headspace for the last week or so, even
before the supply problems, and I was struck by and almost jealous of the
single minded simplicity of addiction.
Everything else melts away and you're charged with the sole task of getting
your fix and getting lost in the overwhelming release of it. Nothing else
matters, to the point of complete abandon possessions, relationships and of
The zen of a junkie.
Danielle countered that that also means a loss of place, a loss of
community, a loss of family and a loss of joy and she's right, but when you're
in it would any of that matter?
I don't know.
Anyway, that's enough of that. What else has been going on?
This weekend was bitreichcon 2019 and I was able to catch most of the
gopher stuff, it was really neat. Delivery of the plaintext slides over SSH
was a really interesting idea, something I'd never even thought of, and the
advertisements that played between panels were great. Gears started turning.
~tel even got a little nod when they were talking about the Tildeverse which
made me smile.
~tel is in desperate need of love but I just can't find the motivation at
the moment. I mean I can't find the motivation for anything really, definitely
in a funk, but ~tel I really feel like I've lost my direction for. I've got a
laundry list of things I'd like to do for it but nothing really excites me or
the few pieces that do are mountains and I don't know where to start.
I'm sure there's something out there waiting for me that'll reignite that
spark but so far I haven't found it.
So that's where I'm at there.
Aside from that, life keeps trundling on. The post-wedding
directionlessness continues, we're just slouching through our daily lives with
no real target, not unhappy by any measure but just a little lost. We need to
get back to the US for a while, see family and decompile.
I'm sick of winter and I dunno if I could do two this year hahaha.