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Stardate: 20210416.0121
Location: The Lab
Input Device: Asus X200CA (daimos)
Audio/Visual:
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Dispatches from Probability Beach 5
Emotional: procrastinating sleep
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I walk in the park almost every day since the start of COVID and
keep coming across various kinds of sport balls. Mostly tennis
balls, some racquet balls, gorf balls, etc. I usually kick these
around the park until I get back to my starting point. It has since
become a game, which I call "COVID Ball." I don't get to play every
time I visit the park, but I do play when I do get a chance. Here
are the rules of COVID Ball:
1. Scan ground for ball during daily walk.
Probablility of success is greater near the dog park or baseball
diamonds.
2. If unsuccessful, try again during next walk and start at 1.
Otherwise, proceed to 3.
3. Upon acquisition of ball, announce the commencement of COVID Ball
by stating verbally in the spirit of Wayne and Garth from the
Wayne's World comedy sketches/films:
"Game on, Wayne! Game on, Garth!"[1]
4. Continue with daily walk while kicking the ball throughout the
park. It is advised not to touch the ball with your hands or
run the risk of infection/contamination.
5. The game is complete when the ball arrives at your starting point,
at which point you put your hands up in the air and exclaim,
"YATTA!" like Hiro Nakamura from the Heroes TV show that ran from
2006-2010.[2]
Should you lose the ball at any point after step 3, the game is
over. The following declaration should be verbally announced, in the
spirit of Private First Class William L. Hudson of the 1986 film,
Aliens:
"That's it, man! Game over, man! Game over! What the fuck are we
gonna do now? What are we gonna do?"
NOTE: Use of the colorful metaphor is optional and discouraged
within an earshot of minors.
Scoring is as follows:
Successful completion of game (#5) = 100 points
with inflated ball = +10 points
with tennis ball = +25 points
with racquet ball = +30 points
with softball = +35 points
with baseball = +40 points
with gorf ball = +50 points
with shuttle cock = +75 points
with unlisted ball = +25 points and +25 points for discovery.
__________
[1] Wayne's World[2] Heroes (American TV series)[3] Aliens (film)20210422 - edit: updated footnotes to links.
p.s. Audio/Visual:
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Brainscan
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